Peppermint Meringues or Death by Banging

** WARNING.... IF YOU ARE NOT INTO DARK OR WEIRD OFF BEAT HUMOUR... DO NOT READ THIS. I HAVE POSTED A NORMAL COPY OF THIS RECIPE ON THE BLOG SITE. THANK YOU** SINCERELY, BAREFOOT BOB

1 ex that you are angry at or 1 annoying coworker

2 large egg whites at room temperature

1/8 tsp salt

1/8 tsp cream of tartar

1/2 cup granulated sugar

2 Peppermint Candy Canes, crushed.

Metal bowl with electric mixer

A blunt object

2 bags (one to crush the candy canes in, the other to drag the dead body away in)


Remove candy canes from wrapper and place in a sealed paper or plastic bag. With the might of a blunt object ( a kitchen mallet works very well or a meat tenderizer on the blunt side, or anything you can bang away with that wont harm you or rip the bag in the process.. and no your ex's head nor the one of that 'silly' coworker constitutes as a safe blunt object...(although, I'll never tell! ) What you want are nice. semi-coarse candy cane chunks.. not a fine sprinkle or powder, although a small amount of the candy cane will turn into that, and that's okay.

Beat egg whites (no not the ex or the silly coworker) until frothy. Add salt and cream of tartar. Beat (yea go ahead and start beating that ex or coworker you never liked, remember THEY dumped YOU and that coworker got the promotion and YOU deserve better!) until soft peaks form. Beat sugar in, only 1 tablespoon at a time. Continue forth for 5-6 more minutes until very stiff, smooth and glossy. (Yes their eyes should be glazed over nicely by now) Spoon onto silpat or foil lined cookie sheets. Remove candy cane sprinkles from the bag, and immediately place the bag over the head of the now semi unconscious silly coworker or ex... while they are fading into abysmal darkness... joyfully sprinkle the candy cane chunks over the cookies while humming a happy tune Bake at 225 degrees for 90 minutes. Meanwhile, do what you will with the ex or silly coworker, kick em again , kick em again harder, HARDER!! , rah -rah sis boom bah and all that..... When the 90 minutes are up, remove the dead body from the kitchen, turn the oven off and open door slightly , let the cookies cool. Serve Immediately at the next funeral you attend. * Cooks Note* If blood happens to spatter into the batter , do not worry, the cookies themselves will come out a lovely light pink to nice deep Valentines day or Christmas red... making them all the more festive!